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Friday, September 26, 2014

Derek Jeter Yankee Stadium events in perpetuity and ad nauseam.

Derek Jeter played his final game at Yankee Stadium last night.  He ended it with a walk off single in the ninth inning.  Immediately after the game the usual suspects appeared on the field to pay homage: Joe Torre, Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada, Tino Martinez, even Bernie Williams.  And for some reason Gerald Williams.  Paul O'Neill was missing.  Maybe at some tech forum.

Next season the Yankees will probably retire more numbers and award more plaques, maybe to Posada and/or Williams (Bernie, not Gerald).  The honored guest at these events will, of course, be none other than ... you guessed it: Derek Jeter!

But Yankee management will need to bolster attendance since the Jeter farewell cannot be duplicated in its entirety without fans becoming at least a little suspicious that they are being played for fools.  Here are some possible Yankee Stadium events.

Derek Jeter bobble head day, of course

Derek Jeter uniform number retirement day

Derek Jeter guess his uniform number day: the first thirty thousand fans attending to correctly guess Jeter's number will be allowed to pay that number times the already outrageous price for authentic Jeter Junk, on sale throughout North America.

Derek Jeter plaque day

Derek Jeter monument day; so what if he's still alive.

Derek Jeter dead or alive internment day; monument park will really come alive.

Derek Jeter buy more Jeter Junk day

Derek Jeter pre-election to the Hall of Fame day

Derek Jeter pre-induction to the Hall of Fame day

Derek Jeter post election to the Hall of Fame day

Derek Jeter post induction to the Hall of Fame day

Derek Jeter memorial day

Derek Jeter flip play day

Derek Jeter Mr. November day

Derek Jeter 3,000 hit day

Derek Jeter throw out the first pitch random day.

I'm sure the Steinbrenner Kids have lots more planned.  Otherwise, we Yankee fans might notice the horrendous job they are doing.

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